I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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