This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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