I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
