They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
