She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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