I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
