It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
