She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
