ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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