and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
its liver damage thursday
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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