i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
