I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
