I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize