No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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