You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just cut my nipple shaving
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
