do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
