You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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