I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize