He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she smelled like a LAN party
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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