I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
