I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
