You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
