I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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