Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize