Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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