I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
