When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
