he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
please don't ironically join a cult
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