worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
