Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
