Actions speak louder than pants.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
