We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
