he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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