Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
God, I missed his penis.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
