If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I had to cum in my sink.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
