I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
