I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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