I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
