just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
