i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
