school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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