Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
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