the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
