I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i out mim tonsoeep
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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