You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Bring me that man meat
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize