Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
