Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
