Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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