My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
