I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
