when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
