so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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