I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
