Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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