To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
