she looked like the before picture.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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