I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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