the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
