You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
