Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
