Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
