we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
