I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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