Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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