Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
