My brain says no but my pants say off.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
