i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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