i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My balls are so social today.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
