Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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