you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
