i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
