i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
