Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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